March 21, 2023

Waterton from Bear’s Hump

 

Psalm 46: 1-3

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

 

I took the above picture in July 2020. A few friends and I decided to take a day off work, drive to Waterton, and climb Bear’s Hump. Southern Albertans may remember that the trail to Bear’s Hump was closed after the Kenow Wildfire in August 2017. The trail had just recently reopened and we decided it would be fun to climb it.

If you’ve climbed Bear’s Hump, you’ll know it’s a short hike, but it’s grueling. A steep ascent and a series of switchbacks. Burning legs and shortness of breath. At the end, you come to the top of the “hump” and you are rewarded with a view of the town site, the lake, the mountains in the distance. On that day in July 2020, my friends and I celebrated our trip to the top with a cheer, lots of photos, and a well-deserved glass (or two) of wine.

As that trip to Waterton occurred in July 2020, it was about more than a day spent in nature with friends. We are all speech-language pathologists and to say that our work life had changed since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic would be an understatement. Most of us were parents of elementary-aged school children and had managed to keep working while helping our children navigate the world of home learning. By that time all of us had been redeployed, spending months screening visitors and staff at the hospital and swabbing people for Covid. Our lives, and those of our friends, loved ones, clients, children, partners, had changed immeasurably and we certainly felt like the earth was crumbling into the sea. But that trip to Waterton and that climb of Bear’s Hump felt restorative, and despite our shaky legs and burning lungs, restful. For me, I was feeling God’s power, the power that the Psalmist discusses, first hand.

In the past, when I’ve read the Lenten reflections, I’ve often wondered if Steve and Gillian choose who will give the reflection based on the content of the readings. Because, hoo boy, today’s readings felt like they were made for me. In particular Psalm 46 struck me. As sometimes happens when I read or listen to the Bible, I feel like God is talking directly to me. The Psalmist assures me that God will provide me rest even when the world around me is crashing down.

Many of you know that I got Covid in February 2022. I spent 10 days in bed with terrible body aches, a wracking cough, a splitting headache, a raging fever, and I slept for 12 to 14 hours most days. After 10 days, I went back to work. And then, a week later, I ended up back at home, in bed, with exhaustion and a cough that would leave me breathless. After more than 12 weeks of varying degrees of feeling unwell, I was diagnosed with Post Covid Condition. My cough was ever-present, the exhaustion and fatigue were substantial. I was unable to draw a deep breath, unable to sing, barely able to speak. My world, as I knew it, was crumbling, giving way, crashing into the sea. I was unable to do so many of the things that I could do before. I could not climb a mountain, I could barely climb my stairs. I could not help my children with packing their lunches, I could not help them with homework because I had difficulty with my memory and my brain felt so foggy. I couldn’t do my job; I could barely talk. I felt sad, tired, angry, sick, mentally and physically exhausted. The mountains of my life were quaking and crashing around me.

In June my doctor put me on sick leave from work. I spent the next two months at home, resting. For me, resting is difficult. It’s hard to spend time being quiet and still. I wanted to take adventures with my kids. I wanted to go out for walks with my dog. I wanted to spend quality time with my husband. I wanted (seriously) to be able to clean my house and work in my garden. I wanted to be able to visit my friends. But my body, my soul, my mind NEEDED rest. They needed rest like a thirsty person needs water. It is a biological and physiological NEED.

God knew I needed rest, and He wrapped me in his loving embrace and helped me to lighten my burdens. He allowed my body and my mind to rest so that I could spend time healing. He anointed me with His love and grace, and I could feel it like a warmth in my body. He sent people to me, people who checked on me, texted me funny jokes, brought me goodies, prayed for me.

Psalm 46, verse 10 states, “He says, Be still and know that I am God”. Be still. Rest. God tells us that we do not have to carry our burdens alone. He will carry them for us. He will help us to rest.

Rest is restorative. Though I still struggle with Post Covid Condition, I am healing. If you’ve spoken with me in the last month, you’ll likely have noticed that my voice has returned. I am able to sing, I’m able to talk with my clients, I’m able to talk with my friends and with my family. Thanks be to God. 

 

- Catherine Ball