February 24, 2023

 

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

Psalm 51:17

As a mother and a teacher, I have found that one of the most difficult tasks is teaching kids what it
really means to apologize. Most of the time, after trying to help resolve some dispute, kids will say
they’re sorry flatly, sigh, then walk away. There may even be the occasional eye-roll, and usually a
long list of excuses. At one point, I posted a sign in my classroom with the steps for “A Proper Sorry.”
You must say what you are sorry for, explain why it was wrong, describe what you would do differently
if you could, and ask for forgiveness. Without understanding and meaning all these parts, “sorry” can
be such an empty word.

In Psalm 51, David lays out one heck of a “proper sorry!” David is at a real low point here. He has
sinned through his affair with Bathsheba and the killing of her husband, Uriah. He has hurt others,
to put it mildly, and he has hurt and angered God. David must repent, and in this Psalm, he shows
us how this is truly done. The entire Psalm is well worth reading and breaking down, but at verse 17,
David shows the depth of his sorrow over his sin. He is offering to God his broken spirit and heart. 

In the Morning Prayer service in the Book of Common Prayer, this verse, paired with another from
Joel, opens the service during Lent. Joel 2:13 tells us, “rend your hearts, and not your garments.” 
A “proper sorry,” therefore, is not about a rehearsed line, a sacrificial animal, or some sort of public
performance; it must come from within, and rise out of a broken heart. We hear and see so many 

insincere apologies in our world today. Sometimes with children, but also with our political leaders,
celebrities, in our workplaces and possibly within our own homes. We are all prone to making excuses
for our behaviour, and it seems almost instinctual to go on the defensive and explain why we do or
say hurtful things, as if that will alleviate our guilt. The words may be spoken, but the intention behind
them is often questionable. 

As we travel through Lent, we must ensure that any outward sacrifice we choose to make is
accompanied by inward transformation. When we examine our own sin, does it break our hearts
to know that we have hurt others, and our loving and caring God? It should. David, in all his power,
realizes that all he has left to offer to God is his broken spirit and contrite heart. This humble offering
is the essence of repentance and the only way to issue a “proper sorry.”

“...And every human heart that breaks,

In prison-cell or yard,

Is as that broken box that gave

Its treasure to the Lord,

And filled the unclean leper’s house

With the scent of costliest nard.

Ah! Happy those whose hearts can break

And peace of pardon win!

How else may man make straight his plan

And cleanse his soul from Sin?

How else  but through a broken heart

May Lord Christ enter in?”

The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde

 

- Ceri Penner 

 

 

 Depth of Mercy, Fountainview Academy, Official Cover